3 tips for effective co-parenting after divorce

When you married your spouse, you likely did not think you would ever end your marriage, but divorce is a common experience for many. According to Time, your chances of getting divorced are approximately 39%. 

If you have children, you may have concerns about how your divorce will affect them, especially as you try to co-parent. By following certain strategies, you and your ex can co-parent effectively and help your children transition after your divorce. 

1. Set hard feelings aside

After you finalize your divorce, feelings of anger, bitterness, resentment and frustration may remain. Try to prevent these feelings from impacting your co-parenting arrangement. Instead of venting your frustrations to your children, work through them with a family member, close friend or therapist. 

2. Improve your communication

Consistent, peaceful communication with your ex is essential for a successful co-parenting arrangement. Maintain a businesslike tone when communicating with your ex, make requests instead of demands and refrain from overreacting when working through issues that affect your children. If you feel like you cannot speak calmly to your spouse, wait until you are ready to return to the conversation. 

3. Aim for consistency

Although it is beneficial for your children to be flexible, consistency can help them feel secure after your divorce. Set similar rules at both households and try to follow a similar schedule. For example, if your children go to bed at a certain time at one parent’s home, they should go to bed at the same time at the other’s.